Famliy, Shmamliy

When do you get the right to divorce your family? And why do they say blood is thicker than water? These two questions that have been bobbing around in the space between my ears for a few days now. Family? They drive me nuts. I don't' mean your husband or children ('cause yeah, you could divorce them too), I mean parents and siblings. God help us all. You can't tell me that everybody has a perfect relationship with these people. I know I sure don't, I'll be the first one in that line. I've hit a rough patch with my family and it is causing me to re-evaluate things, like my relationship with each of them, or lack there of one. I've been upset with them in the past but this time I really think I'm done.

I have actually gone a few days now without speaking to my mother, which for me is very, very hard to do. Anything happens, I want to share it with her....weather she wants to know about it or not. I can't tell you how many times I've put the phone back down and had to remind myself that "I'm not talking to her!" It really isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I'm not saying my mom is a bad person, because she isn't. She is actually a very kind person. But I've had my fill. This is the first time in 3o some odd years that I have truly felt that I didn't want anything to do with her. The funny thing is that this it isn't over anything jinormous.....I've just had enough. The proverbial ball is in her court. I know this really doesn't justify a divorce how about a "temporary separation"? I just wish sometimes she would think of the other person, how they might feel or how they may re-act. So to boil it down for you, I didn't react the best nor did I feel that shit hot during our last conversation. (thanks of course to her). I have said my peace and that's all I can do. I know things will eventually go back to the way it used to be but right now I could care less.

Does anybody out there know what he definition of "Sister" is? I guess we all have our own thoughts and ideas on it , so when I typed the word "sister " into Wikipedia, it sent me to the page for sibling. This is what I got.

"A sibling is someone with whom one shares at least one parent. This is usually taken to mean that the two people are genetically very close, though it is not always necessarily the case, for example one or more siblings may have been adopted by their parents.
In most societies throughout the world, siblings will usually grow up together and spend a good deal of their time during childhood together. They may have conflicts during their childhood years, but usually resolve them later in life. This closeness may be marked with the development of strong emotional associations such as love and enmity. The sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family."

I guess my sister missed this word in the dictionary. Conflicts in the early years? That is all we have ever had and we are grown married woman with children, there are no warm fuzzy moments to look back upon between us. As for love, I think only because we have to love each other we do. Complicated, doesn't even begin to describe our relationship. We just can't get along. I have friends who are more like sisters to me than she has ever been. Not that I am the best sister of the year award winner but my goodness I treat her a lot better than she does me. I can't take her self richeous attitude anymore. Her way or the high way...and right now you could say I've been put on the high way. She has hurt me more than she will ever know. Years and years I have wanted nothing more than to have some sort of a relationship with her and be sisters but it just doesn't work. i have no energy left to try any more. I have spent a lot of time in my life crying because of her. Today I say "No more". I am not going to let her affect me anymore. Life is precious. I have other sisters out there, who accept all my faults and baggage. Who don't judge and who don't place blame. They love me because they want to not because they have to. Maybe water is the thicker fluid.