Words that Hurt

Why, oh why, do we say such harsh things to hurt those we care for the most?





Two days ago, Dwayne and I got into a little argument.....and one comment led to another and before you knew it I was spewing all sort of mean and hurtful things from my mouth.



I didn't mean them, maybe thought about it before but I didn't mean ti. It seems though, this time I've gone just a little to far and I think I really hurt DW's feelings. Now, he is not innocent in this whole spewing of mean and hurtful things, because he said things that were not very nice too. I guess I am the type of person who can get over things that are said in the heat of an argument but he seems to be holding a bit of a grudge. Dwayne hasn't come out and said anything but he has been acting a bit different since the said incident.



I have said I am sorry and really he should know better, I am very sarcastic even when I am not in the middle of a dispute with someone.



Butt he question still remains, why do we say these things? Is it because we are feeling defensive and hurt? Does that justify tossing verbal daggers at one another? I know I'm not the only person who has said horrible things to a significant other in the heat of a lovers quarl, but am I the only one that feel they haven't been forgiven?



I know by the weekend all will be back to normal in our house hold. It just took along time this time to get to that place. (Don't worry, we are still very much in love and I wouldn't know what to do with out the man and I know he feels the same.) I think he is just getting softer with age, and I mean emotionally.



Maybe next time I wont be so harsh and take it a bit easier on him........maybe I'll just think about it.

My Dirty Little Secret

The Sock Bin.....that is the only way I can describe it. It seems, at least in my house, that all socks end up in the sock bin to die. You name it, we have it, such as; wool socks, wool socks with stripes, black spot socks, white sport socks with blue thread, white sport socks with red thread, athletic socks in both long and short, there is also my work socks which come in four colours and then you have my everyday socks and my dress socks. As you can tell we have a very large number of socks, so if you are left in there unmated, you will get tossed. BUT, you only get tossed if I get a chance to go sort the sock bin............ahhhh the sock bin.




It stared innocently enough, one day a few years a go was folding laundry and I didn't want to leave the lone socks just lying around, so I put them in a basket. Then, the next time I did laundry, I just tossed all the socks in and so on and so on...I think you get he picture.

It has gotten so bad, some mornings you can hear me say..."just go through the bin you'll find a pair". I have done everything from trying to buy everyone the same socks to everyone different socks to matching the socks as soon as I take the close out of the dryer. (how come one is always missing?) Nothing, except the "Sock Bin " works for me

To mate the sock bin is a whole other story and an evening affair. It usually involves the entire family. Nobody wants to do the job them-self, so we do it as a group. Everyone has there own task. One will have to sort the whole bin into piles according to colour, size etc...the the rest of us work on mating the piles but I still end up with about 10 lone socks to start the next sock bin.... I just don't know what to do. No mater what, I have socks in the sock bin.

Now, I have spoken to a few people, and apparently a sock bin is not that odd, it's just no-one wants to talk about it or admit that, they too have one. Why are we ashamed of it? Or embarrassed? Is there some sort of negative connotation or stigma that comes with having a sock bin? If there is, could someone share it with me.

Now that I have outed my "dirty little secret" there will be stairs, pointing of fingers and laughs as I walk by. Parents wont let there children play with mine because we have this disease.......Well I am going to shout it from the roof top and I no longer care what anyone thinks....

I HAVE A SOCK BIN!!!!

Now It's Your Turn...

So here it goes.....

I've been following a few blogs, nothing really out of the ordinary. Just people blogging about there life and how it happens to them. I cam across one the other day called "What The Hell" and it was funny in a cute way. I think every one who blogs should try this.

This is how is works...
Find the fourth file of photos in your computer and choose the fourth photo in the file! Post about it, whatever it is!

Here is mine

I know, funny eh? This pic was taken back in July (I think). We were having drinks at Carrie's trailer, just chit chatting about life. One of her favorite things to do is to take pictures, especially of herself. So this is one of about 15 she took that night. We continued to have quite a few wobbly pops and I have a really good video of Carrie falling asleep in that exact spot about two hours after this picture was taken. Most of my pictures are of Carrie....not because I take them, she is obsessed with selfportriats....OMG..........I have tons of her....and some really funny ones at that.

Now it's your turn.

One of These Things......

So here it is Friday, and here I am blogging.....anyone else find this picture a bit odd?

You know like the old Sesame Street song "One of These Things doesn't Belong". Well, that would be me, at home, in Kanata. Not at the trailer, in White Lake. Nope, here I am at home.

I'm at home because the trailer is now closed for the season, but it is just soooo weird to be home. Weird in a nice kind of way.

There was no rushing abut to get things packed, no stressing on what food we should bring for the weekend, no panicking, if we forgot something. The list goes on and on.

I am finally going to be able to get some things done around the house (as I've stated in other blogs), but it just feels rather bizzar.

We went out tonight, did some running around, took the boy ('cause the other one is at a sleep over) out for supper. I am in the process of getting thing in order for a get-together with a friend that I haven't seen in a few months (I think we all know why that is). I guess you could say, as much as I enjoy my summer it's nice to be home.

Poor, poor, Dwayne, if he wasn't a beaten man already, he is going to be now....you have no idea how long his list of chores is. I will admit, today without asking he did two of them....yep two, he just doesn't realize I have a list. I was giving him a week to rest and them POW the list would be out...now I can just add two more things to it and he will never ever know! This is what happens when one of these things just doesn't belong here!

I'll keep you posted on the list.......

Is This It?

Today was one of my co-workers last day. She decided to move to the GTA and look for a new job. Monday morning at 9am she starts working for the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care. She is Twenty-five years old, what a great opportunity for her. I guess you could say I am a wee bit jealous, not that she is 25 or moving to GTA but that she was able to get out of a dead end company, at least for me it is. When you are a PSW (personal support worker)there isn't too much room for advancement, unless you go back to school to do your BSCN or your RPN. I am too old to go back to school, couldn't afford it even if I wasn't too old. I know I would qualify for a student loan to cover the costs of school, but who in the hell is going to pay my day to day bills?

I am a smart person and I know my job, but that isn't going to get me anywhere. I would love a new job or should i say a new career. My body isn't going to be able to take this much longer, and then what?

I guess I expected a bit more form life than what I have now, not that what I have is a bad thing. I have a great husband, two awesome boys, a dog, we own our own home and we have two cars. I just didn't think I would still be living in this house...this house was our 5 year plan...we are at year seven and a half. I thought I might have a better job...no same as about year seven and a half.

I am happy, but I sometimes feel we are missing out on something. I am not sure what that something is but it is just out of reach. I can almost reach it, I am so close I can taste it. I just wish I knew what IT was. Is this it? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be. IS that selfish, to want more? I don't want more material things, okay, one thing...a bigger house, but what I would like is to feel satisfied, to feel full.

Have I hit the glass ceiling of life? I as you, is this it?

Here We Go Again

Alright, I promise not to wine about not blogging or how sorry I am that I haven't or how I am really going to try this time....nope not once from me, not at all. What I will do, is promise is to try and do this as often as I can....there, done! I've said my peace.

So, things have been the usual around here....busy, busy and yep you got it busy. We closed up our trail this past weekend. It is so sad that it is all over until next May. I hope I can last that long. We had such a great summer there this year. We met a whole lot of new friends, got involved...maybe a little too much...(there was something about a coo....I'll fill you in on that at some other date) Had yet another summer of causing mischief with Carrie. (Just look at her blog)

So what are my plans for the fall? Not sure. I need to drop a few pounds...apparently eating lots of food and drinking way to much alcohol causes you to gain weight, who would have known? I would really like to find a hobby. Not sure what would be a good hobby for me because I am an instant gratification type person. If I am no good at it now I won't enjoy it and stick it out until I am good. I have a list of things that I have started and stopped within a week because I was no good...I Would share but the list is soooo lengthy. I am good at reading books, watching TV and procrastination....hmmmm.....I guess I could just sit on the couch for the next 6 months reading and watching TV procrastinating about everything I need to get done...lol. Seriously, I would like to find a hobby and I think I am going to take the month of November to paint my house. There, I 've set some goals for myself.

I am also going to work on a few relationships, some new and some old. I am going to try to be a better friend to a few people and some others well, you wouldn't want to be them. I am going to try and spend some more time with a few others. I guess I'll have enough to keep me out of trouble until the spring thaw.