Is This It?

Today was one of my co-workers last day. She decided to move to the GTA and look for a new job. Monday morning at 9am she starts working for the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care. She is Twenty-five years old, what a great opportunity for her. I guess you could say I am a wee bit jealous, not that she is 25 or moving to GTA but that she was able to get out of a dead end company, at least for me it is. When you are a PSW (personal support worker)there isn't too much room for advancement, unless you go back to school to do your BSCN or your RPN. I am too old to go back to school, couldn't afford it even if I wasn't too old. I know I would qualify for a student loan to cover the costs of school, but who in the hell is going to pay my day to day bills?

I am a smart person and I know my job, but that isn't going to get me anywhere. I would love a new job or should i say a new career. My body isn't going to be able to take this much longer, and then what?

I guess I expected a bit more form life than what I have now, not that what I have is a bad thing. I have a great husband, two awesome boys, a dog, we own our own home and we have two cars. I just didn't think I would still be living in this house...this house was our 5 year plan...we are at year seven and a half. I thought I might have a better job...no same as about year seven and a half.

I am happy, but I sometimes feel we are missing out on something. I am not sure what that something is but it is just out of reach. I can almost reach it, I am so close I can taste it. I just wish I knew what IT was. Is this it? Is this what the rest of my life is going to be. IS that selfish, to want more? I don't want more material things, okay, one thing...a bigger house, but what I would like is to feel satisfied, to feel full.

Have I hit the glass ceiling of life? I as you, is this it?