In-laws...Unwanted, Dead or Alive

Relationships with the In-laws are strained on a good day....on a bad day, it's like the fires of hell biting at your ass.


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Over the years, DW and I Have had our arguments over his family. It has taken some time but he now understands what I have been screaming at him for the last 10 years, "WE ARE SECOND FIDDLE".

We do not count, our children do not count, I am not even sure if they know we exist.

I could sit here and type away for a very long time and list the reasons why I feel the way I do. I shall not bother you with that extensive list, maybe another time.
For some reason it just isn't his parents, its turned out to be most of his immediate family. I think his brother and grandmother are the only two I have no issue with, wait a minute, they are the only two I don't have issues with.

I am not mean nor bitchy to any of them, but let me tell I sure as hell would love to be. I play all nicey nice and chat with them, but I have no use for them at all. I'll be honest, when we go there, I drink, I drink a lot! I have to, it's the only way I can handle them. The booze helps to take the edge off. They think it's mean that Dw always has to drive, but let me tell you, if momma bear is happy,everyone is happy. One of these times, in my numbed state of consciousness I will tell them the truth! "You must understand I'm really not an alcoholic, I just need something to kill the pain of being around all of you (minus Grandma and Dw's brother)." Not really sure on how well that will go over, I'm suspecting two things 1) like a led balloon and 2) DW will never let me ingest that much liquid courage to say those things, he will although, facilitate a nice happy glow! Like I said a happy momma bear......



I have yet to receive pictures of any of my nieces or nephews form his side of the family. And I wounder why I feel I have no connection with them and don't want to work on a relationship with them. Dw's parents don't interact with our boys, the screensaver on there phones and computer is the two youngest grandchildren, not the group shot we have of all six of them.



Last year for Christmas we got Dw's grandmother a digital photo frame, there were only 5 or 6 pictures of the boys or us as a family placed on to it. Let me tell you, there were lots of the other families and no one asked us for pictures!



This all may sound very petty and stupid, but it is a constant underlying stress in my life. Not that I sit around thinking about it but when we have to have contact with any of them, this anger and frustration erupts from me. So as you've guessed, I am in the middle of having contact with them.


I have decided, that this year I am not going to go to their house for Christmas, actually it is Boxing day. The father in law rents the rink in town and we all go skating, then go back to the house, exchange gifts and then eat. It doesn't really sound that bad, but believe me it is. I have left there the last two years very angry and in tears before we even pull out of the drive way. So,not this year, not next year, never ever again for me. I told my other half he and the boys can go and have a really nice visit with them but there was no way I was going to ruin another Christmas by spending it in the Burg.



There was a time that i just dealt with it all, but why should I? Our visits "home" have pretty much stopped, Thanksgiving was the last time we were there. WE can't even stay at his parents house any more, his sister (who only lives 20 min away) and her family stay there every time we are together and we are then forced to go to my moms or back home to Ottawa. They just don't get it. I don't even think they realize, and I refuse to be the one who has to show them.



We have invited them numerous times to the trailer, even for a afternoon, nope, never came. They have all come to Ottawa and didn't call or stop by. (we live right beside the highway), yet the expect us to drop what we are doing to go to see them.



It is going to be a very interesting Christmas.......I'm sure you'll hear more before too long....'cause there is the whole gift thing, but I'll save that for another time.